The breadseller who relocated from Osun state became a celebrity after unintentionally appearing in a photo shoot by TY Bello and has since bagged national and international recognition after she was made a model following her good looks.
Olajumoke, who is said to have little or no knowledge of English Language has been offered admission to study Proficiency in English Grammar and Communication, and One-on-One Total Personality Development at Poise Graduate Finishing Academy, Cable.ng reports.
This new development sponsored by Sujimoto Construction Limited, is also backed with an offer of a ‘furnished luxury apartment in Lagos’ in what the company says is part of its corporate social responsibility ‘this Valentine’s season’.
Olajumoke and her husband who was making a public appearance for the first time since the news of the turnaround broke, have certainly struck gold!
Saturday, 23 April 2016
PALM WINE-50 LITRES
Two Communities Pankshin and
Langtang in Plateau State, Nigeria
decided to organize a drinking competition. One week to the competition Pankshin Community sent a delegate Rotgak to confirm if the competition will still hold. As the delegate Rotgak got there, the people of Langtang brought 50 litres of their strongest burkutu as kola. Rotgak asked if he can test. He was permitted. He finished the whole 50 litres and said; This one is okay, where's the main drink?. The people of Langtang shouted; Are you among the competitors?. Rotgak replied; No, I did not qualify from my own community am just a delegate.
Langtang in Plateau State, Nigeria
decided to organize a drinking competition. One week to the competition Pankshin Community sent a delegate Rotgak to confirm if the competition will still hold. As the delegate Rotgak got there, the people of Langtang brought 50 litres of their strongest burkutu as kola. Rotgak asked if he can test. He was permitted. He finished the whole 50 litres and said; This one is okay, where's the main drink?. The people of Langtang shouted; Are you among the competitors?. Rotgak replied; No, I did not qualify from my own community am just a delegate.
GUILTY LAWYERS
Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.
Thursday, 21 April 2016
7-NAMES YOU DONT WANT TO GIVE YOUR CHILD IN THIS 21 CENTURY
Firstly, this is Nigeria and there is the need to carefully review the kind of names we give our children. We are a nation with a deep rooted belief for culture and value. While many people prefer to give their children foreign names, many people do not want to lose touch with the culture we have tried to preserve for years.
That being said, there are some indigenous names you dare not name your child in this present age and day. Not only are these names bastardized, they have become a subject of ridicule amongst people. Some names in Nigeria depict stupidity and go on to portray the bearers of such names as people who are not smart and are naturally silly.
It should be known that the names you give a child go a long way in that child’s future. A child named after wealth could become immensely rich people would start to marvel at his or her success. Give a child a name that means bitterness and you would be surprised to see that child goes through trials and tribulations all through his life.
Without wasting much time, check out some of the names you may not want to name a child in Nigeria:
1. Akpos
Please if your wife is expecting a child, do not include Akpos when you are compiling names to give that child. Akpos have become the joke of the century in Nigeria and is being used wildly in the entertainment world.
People who bear this name are so dumb they could hardly make sentences that are filled with good points. This character may stick to your unborn child as he may never be taken serious.
2. Sule
This name has Islamic background. Many Nigerians now use it when they want to mock people. A person being called Sule may not necessarily have that as his original name but then it means the person is not smart or intelligent.
Calling a person that is aimed at making him or her know he is acting silly or actually silly. If you go on naming your child that, don’t say we did not warn you.
3. Alice
This is the name most maids bear in Nigeria. We are sorry if that is your name but then, we are sure you would not want to name your child that too. Moreover, the name is becoming archaic so why bother naming your daughter that? Or do you want your child to become somebody’s maid in the nearest future?
4. Ekaette
This is a Calabar name and if you are familiar with people from this part of Nigeria, you would know they are wonderful cooks. There is really no problem giving your daughter this name if you have dreams of her becoming a cook.
Most of the girls portrayed as Ekaette are not just good in the kitchen; they have an added advantage when it comes to bedroom skills if you know what we mean.
5. Muri
This is a bit sad as we have a hero with the name Muritala. Yes we know people are trying to make the name sound more ‘Behind’ by coming up with ‘funkified’ versions of it. But forget that, Muri would always be Muri in Nigeria. And you definitely do not want to be called that or make an innocent child go through the agony of being mocked.
6. Dejo
This is a popular character in the Yoruba film industry but you do not want to have a child named that. Like all the other names mentioned here, this name has a meaning and it is rather unfortunate that the beauty of this name is being replaced with chronic stupidity.
Call your son Dejo and watch people add ‘Tufulu’ as the suffix.
7. Okoro
This is an Igbo name but people generally believe that a person called this has to be bald or someone with receding hairline. Why do you want your child a name like that? But then, you could ignore this and wake up to see your hairy child bald. Please do not go challenge your mother in-law abeg oh!
That being said, there are some indigenous names you dare not name your child in this present age and day. Not only are these names bastardized, they have become a subject of ridicule amongst people. Some names in Nigeria depict stupidity and go on to portray the bearers of such names as people who are not smart and are naturally silly.
It should be known that the names you give a child go a long way in that child’s future. A child named after wealth could become immensely rich people would start to marvel at his or her success. Give a child a name that means bitterness and you would be surprised to see that child goes through trials and tribulations all through his life.
Without wasting much time, check out some of the names you may not want to name a child in Nigeria:
1. Akpos
Please if your wife is expecting a child, do not include Akpos when you are compiling names to give that child. Akpos have become the joke of the century in Nigeria and is being used wildly in the entertainment world.
People who bear this name are so dumb they could hardly make sentences that are filled with good points. This character may stick to your unborn child as he may never be taken serious.
2. Sule
This name has Islamic background. Many Nigerians now use it when they want to mock people. A person being called Sule may not necessarily have that as his original name but then it means the person is not smart or intelligent.
Calling a person that is aimed at making him or her know he is acting silly or actually silly. If you go on naming your child that, don’t say we did not warn you.
3. Alice
This is the name most maids bear in Nigeria. We are sorry if that is your name but then, we are sure you would not want to name your child that too. Moreover, the name is becoming archaic so why bother naming your daughter that? Or do you want your child to become somebody’s maid in the nearest future?
4. Ekaette
This is a Calabar name and if you are familiar with people from this part of Nigeria, you would know they are wonderful cooks. There is really no problem giving your daughter this name if you have dreams of her becoming a cook.
Most of the girls portrayed as Ekaette are not just good in the kitchen; they have an added advantage when it comes to bedroom skills if you know what we mean.
5. Muri
This is a bit sad as we have a hero with the name Muritala. Yes we know people are trying to make the name sound more ‘Behind’ by coming up with ‘funkified’ versions of it. But forget that, Muri would always be Muri in Nigeria. And you definitely do not want to be called that or make an innocent child go through the agony of being mocked.
6. Dejo
This is a popular character in the Yoruba film industry but you do not want to have a child named that. Like all the other names mentioned here, this name has a meaning and it is rather unfortunate that the beauty of this name is being replaced with chronic stupidity.
Call your son Dejo and watch people add ‘Tufulu’ as the suffix.
7. Okoro
This is an Igbo name but people generally believe that a person called this has to be bald or someone with receding hairline. Why do you want your child a name like that? But then, you could ignore this and wake up to see your hairy child bald. Please do not go challenge your mother in-law abeg oh!
NA WHO TALK TRUE ABEG
Hahahahaha!! I just can't stop laughing. This
is the awkward Truth About some husbands.
A group of men gathered at a church
conference on how to live in a loving
relationship with their wives. The men were
asked, "How many of you love your wife ?" All
the men raised their hands. Then they were
asked, "When was the last time you told your
wife you love her ?" Some men answered
today, some yesterday, majority didn’t
remember. The men were then told to take
their cell phones and send the following text
to their respective wives: I love you,
sweetheart...
Then the men were told to exchange their
phones so one can read the other wife's reply
to the love message.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Have you impregnated someone again
2. That was then, not now
3. You wan borrow money abi?
4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you
this time.
5. Meaning?
6. Is that a new song?
7. Am I dreaming?
8. If you don’t tell me who this message is
actually for, you will die today!
9. U dis man!! I asked you to stop drinking.
10. Abeg na who be this?
is the awkward Truth About some husbands.
A group of men gathered at a church
conference on how to live in a loving
relationship with their wives. The men were
asked, "How many of you love your wife ?" All
the men raised their hands. Then they were
asked, "When was the last time you told your
wife you love her ?" Some men answered
today, some yesterday, majority didn’t
remember. The men were then told to take
their cell phones and send the following text
to their respective wives: I love you,
sweetheart...
Then the men were told to exchange their
phones so one can read the other wife's reply
to the love message.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Have you impregnated someone again
2. That was then, not now
3. You wan borrow money abi?
4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you
this time.
5. Meaning?
6. Is that a new song?
7. Am I dreaming?
8. If you don’t tell me who this message is
actually for, you will die today!
9. U dis man!! I asked you to stop drinking.
10. Abeg na who be this?
SMART SMALL BRAIN
Mother: Son I'm sorry I slept with someone that is not your dad 23 years ago. And that person is your real father. Son: Mum, what rubbish! How am I to deal with this?! You should be hanged. Mother: I am sorry, he was my first love and I could not marry him cause we are of different religions. He is on the phone at the moment and wants to speak with his son for the first time ever. Son: No I am speaking to no one. Mr Alani is the only father I know and so will that be. Mother: Please don't be so upset. Just talk to him. Son: Ok, I will give him a piece of my mind! Phone: Morning Son, I am Mallam Aliko Dangote. I am your real father. Son: Daddy! Daddy!! Daddy!!! Thank God! I always knew there was something special about me... Thank you mum. Will you do the same if you are the boy?
GET YOUR WIFE A SCHOOL UNIFORM
Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow….. ….. We are living in a generation where people who are “in love” are free to touch each others private part but are not allowed to touch each others phones because they are private…. ……. Sometimes you look back on girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum, you realise that witchcraft is real…… …….. If you’re a married man and you find yourself attracted to school girls, just buy your wife a school uniform………
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)